The Kansas City Chiefs and Andy Reid Are Set For A Losing Season--It Could Be BAD

Didja see this picture Chiefs fans?  This was Andy telling Maclin that he better hurry up and sign with KC because WE GOT ALEX.  If you look at Maclin's face, you can see the Missouri motto of "Showme" shining right through.  That ain't no skeeter Jeremy is smacking on his neck, that's the motion that people go through when they don't realize they are advertising their disbelief to the world.  It's like a poker tell.  Watch for it because I'll bet that Maclin ain't done...not by a long shot.

If you are a Chiefs fan that is currently singing the praises of this team for the upcoming season, you are delusional at best and a pure homer at worst.  Reid and his ever lovin' crush on AS11 (as he was recently referred to in a post on another famous Chiefs blog) has set himself up for a huge fall this year.  Funny thing is, he'll apologize, mutter something about having to do a better job and the fans will welcome him back for 2016 like a freshman at MIZZOU coming home for summer break.  

Now before we go any further, I have to tell you that AS11 looks an awful lot like AS2 (because 1+1 is two after all).  Could it be that this is why Andy is so enamoured with Alex?  I mean, does he really think it's possible???  Let me show you just who Andy may be thinking of.  Hooooooboy, wouldn't this explain some things.

Henceforth, shouldn't we all just call Alex by his real name, Clarence?  Or would he prefer Mr. Oddbody?  O-M-G!  ROFL LMAO!  Listen, this may seem silly, but it makes just as much sense as anything Reid could site after watching Alex look like a clown for two seasons while still acting as though he is the 'goods'.  I sure would have liked to have been there when Alex jumped in the proverbial river to save Reid from himself!  Too bad it just didn't work.  Oh, the irony!

Andy Reid signed his death warrant when he traded away not one, but two draft picks for Alex (sorry, Clarence) and blew enough sunshine up his arse to make calling him 'the Golden boy' necessary.  Alex was in no way, shape or form worth that trade folks and this fact is not in dispute.  But in Reid's defense, just how much is an AS11 worth?  LOL.

Oh well, enough frivolity, let's get down to the nitty and the gritty.

Have any of you seen our schedule this year?  It's enough to make a paratrooper faint and I ain't kiddin'.  Let's take it in sections and see just what Aiken is talking about.  If you have liquor, now would be a good time to pour yourself about three fingers.

Game #1 @ the Houston Texans

I'm not sure that there is much that I can say that this picture doesn't.  The patchwork offensive line that Reid (oh, I mean Dorsey) has put together will FAIL in week one.  Frankly, I hope that Chase Daniel is prepared to play in week one because he just may have to.  Actually, after watching the first couple of preseason games, I'm not sure he wouldn't be better than AS11.

Have you seen any footage from Hard Knocks?  Watt's new coach is kicking his ass for not staying focused on killing the competition EVERY day.  The Chiefs (more specifically AS11) get the honor of being the first victims of this season.  When I told the snowman from Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer about this being our first game, here is how he reacted:

Game #2  Denver Broncos

Do any of you realize that we have not beaten the Broncos anywhere since January of 2012?  Does anyone remember who the QB was in that game for the Donkeys?  Let me refresh your memory banks.  Tim Tebow.  The next season was when Mr. Football became a Donkey and the Chiefs have not beaten them since in six tries.  The Chiefs have trouble with Pey-Pey in general and nothing has changed since he changed teams.  Brady Quinn couldn't do it in his two attempts and Alex (Matt Cassel 2.0) has had FOUR shots without one victory.  This is a trend that will not change this year either.  Let's get this out of the way now...Chiefs lose twice to the Broncos again this year (assuming a healthy Manning) Games 2 & 9.  Moving on.

Game #3 @ the Green Bay Packers

Hmmmm...Last year's NFC North champions who lost the Conference championship in OT to the previous year's Super Bowl Champ.  Chiefs have to play them in Green Bay without a net.  Word is, the Packers are playing their starters in preseason games to get a leg up on the season.  I'd say they are dead serious about getting back to the dance this season.  Even without Nelson that leaves the Chiefs just plain dead.  Loss number 4.

Game #4 @Cincinnatti Bengals

Marvin Lewis.  He may not be able to win playoff games (just like a certain KC team we know), but he does well enough to get there often (if you guessed that I wouldn't want Marvin as HC for the Chiefs because he can't win playoff games like Andy--you'd be right).  In fact, he's made it four years running.  By beating hapless teams.  HELLO KAN-SUH-CITY!  The Bengals are 13-2-1 at home in the last two seasons and have a three game winning streak vs. the Chiefs dating back to 2008.  Dalton still has Green (who is healthy), they signed Greg Little back to the team and Marvin Jones is healthy again as well.  Sanu is WR3 which gives them the aerial triad with plenty of oooomph to confusticate the Chiefs.  On the ground, Jeremy Hill rushed for over 1100 yards last year as a ROOKIE and is the first Rook RB to get a K for Cincy since Corey Dillion did it in 1997.  Running game is a wash, but the Bungles have a much better passing game than the Chiefs and playing in Cincy just makes it harder.  Loss #5.

Game #5  Chicago Bears

Finally, we come to a game that the Chiefs should win.  They are at home, versus a screwed up team with all kinds of internal strife that resulted in a change at HC and getting rid of a TO wannabe named Marshall.  John Fox is taking the helm, but what this portends for Da Bears is not clear.  Cutler continues to be just good enough, just often enough, to keep Chicago paying his contract price.  The fans hate him and with pretty good reason.  If you don't believe me, just wait a game or two and you will see epic fail on display.  It's truly amazing that one QB can perform in such bipolar fashion.  Forte turns 30 this year and he's been ridden hard and put away wet for seven seasons.  He may will lose a step this year.  Alshon Jeffery, who is now the WR1 is coming back from injury and who knows how he plays after rehab?  They did sign Kevin White with their first round pick to fill the void at WR2, but rookie WRs in this league don't usually do well in their first season.  Even though playing a road game is probably a benefit to the Bears, this is one the Chiefs should get.  Win #1.

Game #6 @ Minnesota Vikings

I'd say this guy has some rage bouncing around in him that he will stack on top of his anger when this season begins.  No matter what you think of his child rearing abilities, this is a dangerous running back in the National Football League.  He missed out on almost an entire season for something he doesn't believe is wrong.  His relationship with the Vikings became tenuous and he wanted to be traded because of how they treated him.  So much so, that they had to give him MORE money to make him happy.  This guy will be playing as possessed this season.  

Playing in Minny makes this one hard for the Chiefs.  Prediction Machine thinks the Vikes finish as the No. 5 seed this year in the playoffs. With this guy enforcing his will on a hapless team like the Chiefs, it's hard to see them overcome on the road.  Loss #6.

Game #7  Pittsburg Steelers

Didja know that Pittsburg signed Haley to a two year extension?  No???  Wassa matter Chiefs fans?  Having trouble eating that crow?  It can be a little dry you know.  Maybe Humble pie is better?  LOL.  The best line from that article is this:

Locking up Haley is a no-brainer and a testament to the type of patience well-run franchises like the Steelers are known to exhibit.

Maybe the best line is what that article doesn't say.  Namely:

Letting Haley slip away because of an asshole GM who's pomp was bigger than his circumstance is a no-brainer and a testament to the type of impatient buffoonery that poorly run franchises with inexperienced ownership like the Chiefs are known to exhibit.  

Yeah, well.  Haley has done well since going to Pittsburg and he's in no mood to slow that train down.  Don't you know that Cheeseburger is licking his chops in anticipation of playing a Chiefs team devoid of a passing game?  Just like last year, when Pittsburg sacked AS11 six times, the Steelers are going to dominate defensively.  In spite of that AS11 still threw the ball 45 times for 311 yards and NO TDs.  Remember last year folks?  When the Chiefs didn't score a SINGLE TD from a wide receiver?  It's so sickening to be beaten down by your ex-head coach who's moved on to greener pastures.  Even sicker, Haley was the HC the last time the Chiefs beat the Steelers.  Boom.  Unfortunately, Haley's dominance is not over yet.  Chiefs lose game number 7.

Game #8  Detroit Lions

I'm not even going to try and handicap this game.  I'm going with the team who has the longest playoff win drought at 23 YEARS, as the loser in this one.  That's right, I'm giving this one to the Chiefs.  Interestingly enough though, the only two teams with longer playoff win droughts than the Chiefs are the Lions and the Bengals (24 years).  The Chiefs have gone 21 years without a playoff victory.  Last year, both the Lions and the Bungles made the playoffs and the Chiefs missed.  That sounds like a trend that I don't want to think about.  Coin flip that goes to the Chiefs.  Win #2

Ok, so let's take care of the rest of the West here and now.  I've already called two losses to Denver.  Phyllis just got his own two year extension and probably for good reason.  He wins games.  I figure to split with him and sweep the Raiders for a total of a 3-3 record in the AFC West.  Just about as normal as room temperature.  This puts the Chiefs at a year long record of 5-8 with three games left to play.  

Those three games include home games vs. Buffalo and Cleveland and away at Baltimore.  All three are interesting for different reasons.

Game #14 @Baltimore Ravens

Baltimore has had our number in our last four meetings.  Outside of the 9-6 FG fest back in 2012, most of those four games were fairly lopsided losses.  Baltimore is a tough place to win if you are not the Ravens.  There is no reason to believe that AS11, Reid and his minions can go in there and pull one out.  To me, that's loss number 9.

Game #11 Buffalo Bills

LOOK OUT!!  It's AS11's original program!!  It's like downloading Windows 10 and getting caught in the death loop crash!!  Ohhhhh Nooooooo!

:)  This is going to be a VERY interesting game.  Rex Ryan is playing Post Office with his QBs right now and frankly, it would seem that he has very little choice given who his bevy of Field Generals includes.  To wit:  Matt Cassel, EJ Manuel, Tyrod Taylor and Jeff Tuel.  I don't know how long it's been (if ever) since an NFL team had two QBs whose last names ended in uel, but it has to mean something (conspiracy theory--put on your tin foil hat please).  

Now, we all are more than familiar with Matty nice.  I don't think I need to explain much about his pedigree.  EJ Manuel was a first round (16th overall) draft pick by the Bills in 2013.  In two seasons he has started 15 games, completed 58.4% of his passes and has a rating of 78.5.  The NFL is tough on Rookie QBs.  Just ask Geno Smith.  Actually, you might not want to expect an answer for that from Geno just now.  Seems his jaw is busted.  Looks like NFL players are rough on young QBs too.  Anyway, the idea that EJ hasn't had the proper handling is why Rex picked up Matt Cassel.  As a mentor to EJ as well as someone who can start until he believes EJ has improved enough to take the reins.  

Tyrod Taylor is nothing more than the personification of Rex's infatuation with a 'tweener type QB who can run the wildcat.  Brad Smith ring any bells for you Jets fans?  Rex used Mr. Smith in exactly the same type system for the Jets.  Tyrod actually has a Super Bowl ring from Baltimore's last win in the big game and I'm sure he has an attitude that goes with it.  Tyrod is a converted receiver and has a specific role in Rex's offense.  

That leaves us with Jeff Tuel (who?).  Jeff's claim to fame for our purposes is that he was the starting QB for the Bills during the infamous Zombie run that the Chiefs took advantage of during Reid's first year that boosted the team to a 9-0 start.  Quality QBs like Jeff are more than 50% of the reason why the Chiefs got that 9-0 start.  Funny how these names keep bouncing around the NFL eh?  For this reason alone, were I Rex, Tuel would be packing his bags today.  

As you know, Matty played the last two seasons in Minnesota in a similar role as the one he now finds himself in in Buffalo.  Matt never got a chance to exact revenge for being mistreated by Pioli and Chiefs fans everywhere while in Minny.  Suddenly he gets a new coach, team and opportunity!  And he gets that opportunity right in Arrowhead stadium.  Will he get the start in that game?  Nobody knows at the moment, but I can only imagine that Matt would love the chance.  Particularly with the talent he has available to help him.

As it stands, Matt has Steve Watkins, the speedy long ball catcher as WR 1 and Percy Harvin of Seahawks fame as WR 2.  Watkins is recovering from an injury but not to worry, if he can't go there is one Robert Woods ready to go.  Robert is a USC alum just like Matty!  Gotta wonder if that helps when Matt is looking for a receiver to bond with.  In the backfield, Matt is supported by none other than LeSean McCoy and Fred Jackson.  Not a bad tandem at all.  Take all that and stir it up with a Rex Ryan twist and you just might find the Chiefs on the losing end of that proposition.  Oh, the anticipation!

Game #15 Cleveland Browns

Anybody remember this guy?  He looks well adjusted with his new digs don't you think?  It just so happens that the next to last game of the season pits the Chiefs against their long time WR, Dwayne Bowe.  I just wonder what could be in store?  If the Chiefs have lost as many games as I think they may before week 16, it just might be that Bowe catches five TDs versus his old team in a hat tip to say thanks for the good times!  Don't you think it interesting that two Chiefs left overs have a chance in the same year to pay the Chiefs back for dumping on them?  So much is out there before this matchup actually happens it's hard to predict, but Cleveland is another team that is looking desperately for a spark to get them a playoff game.

Cleveland hasn't won a playoff game since 1994 under Bill Belichick (ironically Belichick beat the Patriots as his one and only playoff win as HC for the Browns).  That is one year more recent than the Chiefs last playoff win.  That's not much better than the Chiefs, but it is better.  Bowe ain't about to lay down after moving up to a better team.  LOL.  This could be a fantastic challenge.

So there you go Chiefs fans.  A prescription for a 6-7 win season.  I really don't think it's all that hard to believe it could happen.  My only hope is that if it does, it sours the fans on Reid sufficiently enough so that when Andy falls back on his 'gotta do a better job' mantra, Clark doesn't fall for it and flushes Reid and his puppet Dorsey so we can finally get on with rebuilding this franchise.

Here's to the 2015 season of Kansas City Chiefs football!!  May it be Reid's last and the very last we have to suffer before we can get that elusive playoff win!!

GO CHIEFS!!!